


Cigarettes and Secrets

by StellaLuna365



Series: Anchors in Oceans of Embers and Ash [3]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Aaron Minyard Has Feelings, Aaron Minyard is Underrated, Andrew Minyard Has Feelings, Angst and Fluff, Betsy isn't as evil as Neil thinks she is, Cigarettes, Gen, M/M, Protective Aaron Minyard, Protective Andrew Minyard, Someone give the twins a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:02:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28005834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellaLuna365/pseuds/StellaLuna365
Summary: Neil has a revelation and ends up on the roof waiting for Andrew.Instead, he gets a drunk-off-his-ass Aaron Minyard.Turns out drunk Aaron is a lot more talkative than sober Aaron.
Relationships: Aaron Minyard & Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten & Aaron Minyard, Neil Josten & Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: Anchors in Oceans of Embers and Ash [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2046821
Comments: 4
Kudos: 246





	Cigarettes and Secrets

Neil doesn’t know when it happened.

Cigarette smoke reminds him of his mother. This is a fact. He burns the cigarettes, doesn’t smoke them much anymore, really—Kevin has fits about it, furious that he’s damaging his lungs when he’s the fastest Exy player in Class I—and inhales the smoke just enough to feel the shadow of his mother.

Cigarette smoke reminds him of his mother.

Until one day, one stupidly normal and placid day on campus, he passes a group of guys smoking, and gets a whiff of the familiar scent, and the first word that comes to mind is _Andrew_.

Cigarette smoke reminds him of his mother.

Until it doesn’t.

Cigarette smoke reminds him of _Andrew_.

This should not bother him, but it does. It does. It does a lot, because—because it _does_.

…

Neil skips his last class for the day and goes to buy a pack of cigarettes.

Now, since he doesn’t smoke them much anymore, he usually bums them off Andrew. Still, he buys some at a convenience store, and goes to the roof. Andrew is still in class.

Neil lights one, and breathes. He doesn’t smoke it, but he smells it, closing his eyes and letting his mind wander.

His mother in the car. Andrew on the rooftop.

He doesn’t know which is more important, anymore, and that is _terrifying_.

On one hand, it makes sense. Andrew almost always smells like cigarettes, and they’re together almost every waking moment they’re not in class. He’s come to associate the smell with safety, and now that it’s not his mother, it’s Andrew. Andrew is safety, and comfort.

But…he feels like that’s…a betrayal. Not to mention the fact that his mother would _kill him_ if she knew he were associating safety with anyone but himself, but…his mom was dead. Neil burned her on the beach and tasted a different kind of smoke then, but the cigarettes…Neil doesn’t know.

They’re both safety, but which is more important?

He’s startled from his musings when the door bangs open. He turns, expecting it to be Andrew—he wouldn’t be surprised if Andrew had a sixth sense for him by now, to be honest, and tracked him down when it went off—and has to do a double take when Aaron stumbles through the door, a bottle in his hand.

Neil blinks.

Aaron stares at him.

“Neil _fucking_ Josten,” Aaron slurs. “Fuckin’ _perfect_. I was look’n f’r Andr’w.”

Neil blinks again. “You found me.”

“I _know_.”

Neil puts out the cigarette on the ledge next to him, figuring he’s going to need all of his attention for whatever the hell is going on right now. “Are you drunk?”

“No, ‘m Aaron.”

“You’re shitfaced.”

“You… _You’re_ a shit-face, fucker.”

“That’s not what I—whatever. Are you okay?”

Aaron takes a particularly long drag from the bottle of tequila and sways dangerously, and Neil has half a mind to drag him back to his room before he accidentally throws himself off the roof. “No. I’m a—” _hiccup_ “—a Fox. We’re all _royally_ screw’d up, right?”

Neil is very, very out of his element.

“Um…okay. You were…looking for Andrew? Do you want me to call him?” Maybe he can call Nicky, if that doesn’t work. Hell, he’d settle for Kevin at this point.

“No. Fucker’d just tel’me ta piss off.”

“Not when I tell him how bad of shape you’re in. Come on, let’s just…go before you fall off, okay?”

Neil puts his cigs away and makes towards Aaron, but stops when the man starts laughing. Neil doesn’t think he said anything particularly funny, but Aaron doubles over, laughing in a way that sounds hysterical and raggedly painful all at once. Neil remembers laughing like that on the side of the highway after walking ten miles after he burned his mother.

“Nu— _no_. He’d—he’d _thank_ you. Fin’lly get rid of the…the _pathetic_ broth’r he has’ta keep n’eye on all th’time… _fucking_ dirtbag…”

Neil pauses. Aaron hates him. He does not like Aaron. Still, he has to do something, or one or both of them is going to die, by the looks of it. “Aaron, what happened? Why did you start drinking?”

Aaron hiccups, wiping at his nose. His eyes are red with what Neil knows is more than intoxication. “Was today.”

“What was today?”

“The fucker killed— _shit_. My _mom_. Today.”

Something in Neil cracks.

Oh. Today is the anniversary of the day Andrew staged the car crash that killed their mom, because she was beating the hell out of Aaron.

Neil sighs, and after a second, hands Aaron a lit cigarette. He might as well settle in for the long haul.

…

Ten minutes pass in blissful alcohol-induced silence before Aaron learns how to speak again.

“Hey. Hey, Neil. Neil _fucking_ Josten.”

“What, Aaron?”

They’re leaning against the electrical box in the middle of the roof (Neil staunchly denied Aaron’s request to sit near the edge) smoking. At least Aaron’s mess is distracting Neil from his own. He figures, he has nothing better to do, and Andrew has class for another twenty minutes. Neil can keep Aaron from accidentally killing himself that long, then call Andrew, then probably call Nicky.

“I really hate you, ya’know?”

Neil sighs and closes his eyes. “You’ve made that abundantly clear, actually.”

“Yeah, yeah, but not like—like _Andrew_. Andrew _hates_ you in—” _hiccup_ “—in his stupid _not-hate_ way. I hate you.”

“Noted.”

“Cause—cause Andrew _doesn’t_ hate you, ya know? And—and Andrew hates ever’yb’dy but me, and…and Nicky and, and Kevin. And Renee, but she’s different.”

“He likes Betsy.”

“Betsy’s a _shrink_.”

“He still likes her.”

“But he likes _you_.”

“I really don’t see the problem, Aaron.”

Aaron goes silent, and Neil glances his way to see him taking a long drag again. It’s a long minute before he speaks. “Hey, hey, Neil. Neil f’ckin’ Josten. Can you keep a secret?”

Neil blinks. “Sure.” Maybe.

“I don’t _really_ hate you.”

Neil snorts.

“Jus…jus don’ hurt Andr’w, kay? He’s been through ‘nough shit.”

Neil blinks again as puzzle pieces fall very quickly into place.

Oh. Oh, shit.

Aaron hates him because he’s afraid Neil will be like Drake, like…like the others.

Neil stares at Aaron for a long, long minute. Probably a few long minutes. He tries to wrap his head around the enigma that is Aaron Minyard, the stony-faced prick who only showed a modicum of affection for Nicky or Katelyn, and the babbling mess beside him asking him not to be like his brothers’ abusers.

He tries for so long his head starts to hurt, and he gives up.

He supposes the Minyard twins will have to remain a mystery forever.

…

Andrew shows up six minutes after Neil calls him, even though Neil knows good and well that his class is ten minutes away.

“Idiot,” Andrew says to Aaron as he crouches beside his brother, eyeing the mostly empty bottle and the cigarette butt in his loose fingers.

“ _Andr’w_ ,” Aaron slurs. “Wow, Andrew. Ya’know what today is?”

“Of course I do, you imbecile.”

That surprises Neil, though it shouldn’t. Neil wouldn’t have thought that Andrew would remember a day like that. Andrew keeps surprising Neil.

“Hate you, Andrew.”

“No, you don’t.”

 _Hiccup_. Something like a sob. “You’re _right_ , and I _hate_ that.”

Andrew’s impassive face is very close to something like expasperation, but he just takes a long sigh and hefts his brother up, shoving his phone at Neil. “Call Betsy, have her come to Aaron’s room later.”

Neil doesn’t know he’s whining until he hears his own voice. “Do I have to?”

Andrew raises an eyebrow at him and drags his fading brother to the stairs.

Neil sighs, resigned, and dials Betsy. It rings three times.

“Andrew?”

Neil sighs, the voice sending goosebumps across his arms. “No, it’s Neil.”

“Oh. Hello, Neil. Is Andrew alright?”

“He’s fine. Aaron’s drunk. Andrew wants you to come here.” He feels himself clipping the sentences short, his tone tight, but he can’t help it.

“I see. Are you alright?” Her tone is nothing but sugary concern.

“I told you what I needed to.”

Betsy might sigh, but Neil can’t be sure. “Alright, Neil. Thank you. Can you tell Andrew I’ll be there in twenty minutes?”

“Sure. Bye.”

Neil has never snapped a phone shut so fast.

…

Andrew meets him on the roof an hour and half later, when Aaron is safely talked down and passed out.

“How’d it go?” Neil asks, cradling a burning cigarette.

Andrew holds out his hand. Neil wordlessly hands him an extra cig and his lighter. Andrew waits until after he’s taken a drag to speak. “You bought cigarettes.”

Neil blinks. “Yeah.”

“It went fine. What’s going on with you?”

Andrew’s Neil-dar is impeccable, and Neil doesn’t know whether to be grateful or annoyed. “I’m fine.”

“178%. Now tell the truth.”

Neil sighs. “Nothing’s wrong, really. I just had a weird thought.”

Andrew doesn’t say anything, so Neil doesn’t either.

“Aaron said he told you a secret, but predictably refused to share with the class,” Andrew says, tone characteristically bored.

Neil smirks. “It’s a secret, Andrew.”

Andrew slides his gaze to Neil and rolls his eyes. “You are an insufferable menace.”

“I’m _your_ menace.”

“Unfortunately.”

Neil smiles, and relishes the smell of cigarette smoke.

For now, on this rooftop, he’s content to let himself be instead of think, knowing he’s safe with Andrew.

“Stop smiling. You look like a fucking clown.”

Neil can’t help but smile wider, laughing as Andrew rolls his eyes, watching the cigarette smoke trail into the sky in transient wisps. “I’m happy.”

Andrew pauses, and cuts his eyes in his direction.

He takes a drag, and doesn’t say a thing, but Neil will never forget the way his expressionless eyes crinkle the slightest bit.


End file.
